I PIERCED MY WRIST

its tight as shit. i was bored as shit sitting in my room with my uncle...who is a year younger than me...yeah weird i know. and i had the piercing supplies and jewlery so was like let pierce my wrist. its tight. put your hand flat on a table. then take your other hand and trace a line down from your middle finger until you feel that spot between your wrist bones. and i used an eyebrow ring so all you see is the balls you like screw on the barbell and they have little blue diamonds in them. i may do the other hand. it didnt hurt it was just hard as shit to do! my skin is obviously think cus we had to use our whole strength to get it through! but its tight. (:
hollaaa.

Mother Fucking fuckers

My mom. WHAT THE FUCK. okay so i took my car out and went to the marine barracks and was partying. My mom was asleep when i left so i left her a note b/c she FLIPS the FUCK out if i wake her up. So about 2 hours into drinking she called me FLIPPING out about how i took the car out with out asking saying it is not a right and i cant automatically take it. So i had to bring her car back immediately. I was DRUNK off my ass and had to drive home Which is not far but i still dont like drunk driving. So i get home and she is FLIPPING the FUCK out on me saying all this bull shit and how i dont care about her rules and all this shit and so we started yelling back and forth and then i went in my room and started deleting my text messages cus i knew she would take my phone. Right then she walks in and says. "give me your phone" i didnt have a chance to delete one message...So i was like fuck. im screwed. So i go to bed hoping she wont read it. the next morning i wake up to a million questions regarding all my messages. so i got grounded for drinking on base with marines lying about where i was and everything so i got grounded until july 12. but today is the 5th...but i got grounded for the rest of summer on july 1st. i left my friends house in the middle of the night cus i was bored and went to my friend jeremys i told my friend i had to go home b/c my mom was really sick. so i come home around 6 in the morning and no one was awake i took the dogs out and went to bed. my mom comes in flipping out. my friend called her to see how she was and my mom asked what time i left and she told her about 130. and STUPID me left her a note when i got home saying didi had to be up for work at 530 so i just got home is like 615 dogs have been out goonight. so she comes in and is like WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU. and i told her my friend jeremys and so now im grounded for summer i cant drive anywhere and she is making me be a pully in the marines. as an early acceptance thing...im being a stripper. not a marine. fuck that.
FML

THE BEST PLACE IN VA

Haymarket. Bull Run mountain. I love it. The people the 4 wheeling the parties everything. That will forever be my home. I love it.













Pretty much everyone up theres back yard looks like this









The mountain at night. The road im on is the one with the hills sign. the hills go all the way to the mountain. The best view ever. It was hard to get a good picture because i was moving. (:














No duh? haha<3>


















Fallowing it are these big hills. not real steap ones just big wide hills leading onto the mountain.







So many good memories<3>

BAM

So i was leaving dance practice today and there is an intersection where there are 2 stop signsI was pulling up to my stop sign and this lady ran hers and hit a car with 3 teenage girls in it. (and the girls had the right of way b/c there was no stop sign) she hit it at like an angle which made the car fly towards me. i slammed on the brakes about a foot away and the little car jumped the curb and took out a stop sign. Today has been shit. Fuck it.

Dream analysis

Im a profesional on analyzing dreams. Seriously. I read a whole book on it and have researched ALOT about it. Im fascinated by it! I have scared some people who let me analyze theirs because they said there is alot of truth behind it. Want me to analyze one? Amnestxstar@aol.com or myspace message me Myspace.com/amnesty1029

(:

DRUNK MARINE WITH SUBTITLES!

hahahaha. He is old enough dont worry, if not. I wouldnt have put it up here. hahahahhaha. I tried to decode what he was saying and put it in sub titles. I think i did a good job. There are just parts where you just cant figure out what he is saying b/c he doesnt even know what hes saying. (:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJx1TUaHBrw
let me know if there is any problems with it so i can fix it. kthanks.

BABY MARINES!

Im dating a baby marine. I call marines that are under 21 baby marines. Cus i can date them. Hes perfect. I think. My best friend LOVES him. And she is one that if she likes my boyfriend, hurry up and call the priest cus hes a winner! haha. Im crazy for him. Hes so amazing. Im not letting myself fall for him YET though. Cus thats how you get sucked into SUCKY relationships. You fall for someone before you REALLY know them then when the bad in them comes out your to "in love" to get away. But he really is great. He is protective over me and doesnt let anyone fuck with me. Which is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of my ex. My ex always let people fuck around with me or make fun of me or talk shit about me. But chase. doesnt. I love it. He wants me all to himself and i love it. The only thing that sucks...
He is getting out of the marine core and moving home to iowa (the square state in the middle i found out) and im in VA. But he swore up and down to me he's commin back. Hes like if you wait ill come. So i think i might. He is a good catch and i absolutly adore him. My best friend said this EXACTLY

"Amnesty, He is a great guy. I seriously love him. Dont fuck this up and let him go. Seriously."

Which is like RARE. Actually, it never happens.

AHHH. I love living parallel to the marine base (: hell yeah.

A very chilling (true) story. With proof its real.

VIEW DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

seriously.

Feb.23.07- YAY! im going hill jumping again!

The weekend before i was at a good friends house and we snuck out with some of our older friends. We were 14. We went to this school. where the soccer fields were frozen. all the snow froze so we were ice skating across it running into eachother. Then we went to Mcdonalds and gave the mexican man a hard time about leaving because he was trying to close up. We went to bunnyman bridge. which is soposed to be a scary haunted bridge or something. but it was far from it. On the way home was scarier then being there. Going over all of the hills real fast in the fast sporty little car. It was scary, but in a fun way. I felt my stomach drop just like it does when im on a roller coaster. The whole next week i could not wait to do it again. I called it "flying." It was such a rush and just made me happy being out with a bunch of teenagers. I did not like the fact i had to lie to my mom in order to get out, but it didnt matter at the time. I remember sitting outside waiting for the boy to come pick us up in that sporty car. I remember every detail about that night. Everything we did. Pretty much the order everything happened in. I remember it all. My mom tells people i dont remember anything 2 weeks before it. But i do. For the most part. I remember stopping at some kids house to pick him up which would have put 6 people in a 4 seater car. But he could not sneak out yet. Before that i remember picking up a case of beer from the drivers house. We had time to kill so we went, got frosty's from wendys then went back to bunnyman bridge. It was still cold out but pretty much all of the snow from the previous weekend melted. We walked on top of the bridge over the railroad tracks just to kill time. Me and one of the other kids had to peed so we went a little off the tracks. When i pulled up my pants everyone was running back the way we came. i knew the only reason they did this was to "scare" us. so we ran to. We all got in the car and sped off. Faster and faster over hills around sharp turns. I was so happy because i felt like i was finally growing up. "im out with teenagers and there is beer, finally. Welcome to the world of high school." I remember The driver saying okay hold on this is one of the best ones there is. After we landed it, i thought that was fun. But i guess it was not as good as it could have been. He turned the car around and said "i didnt hit it right well do it again." Next thing i know i open my eyes. And i see my mom. I remember being thirsty and trying to talk. It was all fuzzy. I remember writing im sorry to my mom on a clipboard. After that i remember a morphine(spelling) drip. that was nice (: and i remember lots of people coming in and out of the room. I remember my mom yelling at a nurse and i remember lots of flowers. I remember picking at my face because it was all scabbed up and itchy. I remember being VERY thirsty but only being allowed to suck on ice. But i remember one of the nurses sneaking me a little bit of water once. I remember going in for a cat scan and my abdoman hurting so bad the nurse had to come in and hold my hand. I remember one of the boys who was with us the previous weekend being in the room at some point. I remember my friend who i was with that night's mom bringing me my favorite food but i was not hungry. your probably very confused as to what im even talking about. Well after the driver said, "i didnt hit it right well do it again" he turned around and we did indeed "hit it" this time. We were in a small acura RSX (hatch back) i was in the middle back with no seat belt. We got up to speed and at the very top of the hill we collided with an SUV. dead on. On impact i was ejected through the closed sunroof. I flew about 50-100ft and landed in a ditch with mud and water and ice up to my ears. The car flipped 2 times total and when it landed. it landed on top of me. The last thing i honestly remember is screaming, "yeah nigga." (sorry if it offends anyone) Everyone walked away from the accident except me of course. The first fire truck came but it did not have the equipment needed to get me out. so a second one came. They could not lean the car any certain way because how the car landed on me made it so no matter which way they leaned it a part of my body would be smushed. My head was under the hood my chest was under the windshield my pelvis area was under the hood and my legs were under the like...back hatch back area. so they had to use levers and jack the car up and slide me out. only problem, it was so mussy from all the snow and ice melting that everything kept sinking in the mud. Finally for a split second it stayed up and they had just enough room to slide me out. Then a helicopter was called and landed in a nearby field. I was life flighted to the hospital. I was conscious through all of this even though i do not remember it. My mom was told i had a 31% chance of living and to get all close friends and family up there asap because i would prob not make it through the night. When i got to the hospital is when i stopped breathing on my own. Tubes were thrown down my throat and i was put into a medically induced coma. I had plastic surgery on my face and neck from where the windshield tore my face off. I lost the total amount of my blood twice and had a spleen kidney and liver laceration(basically a cut). They said if you took a thawed out steak and dropped a 2000 lb weight on it what it would look like is what my liver basically looked like. i broke my shoulder and pelvis and had a spine fracture. I also had a post traumatic brain injury that basically just fucks up my memory and balance. A weird thing about my accident is well first, i should have died. weighing 100lbs and a 2000 lb car sitting on top of me for a little under an hour. come on. but the weird thing is. I had a very close friend pass away about a month before and at his viewing they had these bright green bracelets that said Rip christopher life's short live clean. (they looked like the livestrong bracelets.) anyways, i wore it 24/7. After i was cleared for my mom to come in the room they gave her a bag with everything on me. Its procedure to take everything off someone in case of the need of emergency surgery. Any rope metal plastic clothes shoes, everything. She went and held my hand and noticed the bracelet was still on me. She didnt think anything of it at the time but then someone mentioned how lucky i was and christopher was with me that night. we went to the fire fighters that actually got me out to thank them and have dinner at the firehouse. My mom asked them about the bracelet but they said they took everything off of me.

Guardian angels do exist. So i believe now.

now for proof. I was recording us hill jumping and it just so happens i got it on tape.

Its not visual its all audio. and at the end that is my best friend since i was 2 crying not me. I couldnt breath.

pictures are also attached of my scars on face&neck. Well whats left of them after 2 years. I have more on my chest shoulder back and arms as well. but not as bad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjQWHBp12e4

What do you do.

I love someone. Someone i should not love. But i do. And have for 2 years. I told myself not to love him anymore and i stopped for about 2 weeks. Now he calls, and i cant make myself ignore the phone. I blocked him on everything he could possibly get in touch with me on, except my house phone. When i answer it, my heart melts. I talk to him like its not big deal and like i don't care how he has been. I keep trying to rush off the phone because i don't want to be sucked back in. He knows that is what i do though. So he doesn't let me go. He knows if he pushes just a little at a time by the end of the hour phone call well have dinner plans the following day. But not today, its been to long. there is no way I'm going back. I tell him i have to go and after avoiding the questions that lead into new conversations I'm finally free. He knows how to get me to say things i don't want to say. He knows how to pick out the little details i purposely left out of stories. He knows how far he can bend me without snapping me in half. He knows me. Which is why i had to leave. I could not continue on with someone who knew what to say to make me happy when at that time i NEEDED to be mad at him. If i could have just stayed mad this would have all been over with 1.5 years ago. And there would not be this much pain because there would not be as many memories to miss. I loved him, he loved me. We really did. I was his first love he was my (second) but a very true love. Talking to him tonight i told him i was with someone else. Not to make him jealous, but to make him just leave me alone. So i couldnt fall backwards back to him. If we could go back to how we were at first. I would not be blocking his number. I just know in life i want a family. A husband and kids. And i know in life, he wants money. No wife. Certainly no kids. Just money to spend on himself and cars and boats and anything else a guy would buy. Thats why i ended it in reality. Not becuase the lies he held. But in the end. We didnt want the same thing. So how could we want eachother? I cannot tell him this because he will tell me what i want to hear to get me back. So what do you do when you try to move on but the person on the other end of the phone wont let you hang up?